So I was looking back at old posts on this forum and found a topic that I found really relatable.

 

https://tentmaker.org/forum/christian-life/growing-to-adults-in-ur/msg148805/#msg148805

 

I was originally going to reply to that thread, but a red notification appeared and said not to post if it's been over 120 days, and well, the last message there was sent in 2013, so it's definitely been awhile  :laughing7:

 

To reply, all I can say is, wow! Those are literally my exact feelings that I've felt for so long. It's like I somehow wrote those words when I was younger, it's uncanny the similarities!

 

Sometimes, I feel this sense of "holier than thou" pride, where I feel special or superior to people because I know The Truth TM. In my head, I recreate scenarios endlessly about how I would miraculously convince my family members about UR. Somehow magically winning them over from a charisma that appears out of thin air. But I've talked about it with them before and they firmly believe in ECT. It's just so frustrating, internally. But, thinking about it, what compelled me to find UR is because ECT gave me so much negative emotions. So if they believe it and it's not giving them negative emotions, then at least they aren't getting hurt by it. And I need to maintain my relationship with them as what they perceive as a normal person to help them. If I suddenly start forcing them to learn the truth, talking about it all the time only, even when the truth is good, so so good, I become no better than those crazy hardcore fundamentalists. The means never justify the ends! So I keep those thoughts in my head, and sometimes post them out here for some of you to read, like this post.

 

Even to this day, it still makes me feel upset. There's atheists out there who hate Christianity because they believe that God will send the majority of people to hell forever, which is so so wrong! I can attest to this, as I used to be one of those atheists. I even made accounts on their forum and posted my own thoughts before which I've long since deleted after having changed my mind and becoming born again as a saved Christian.

 

Even after I was saved, I suffered intense scrupulosity, which psychologically is known as an intense religious fear. I was genuinely afraid of God, and not the loving sort of respectful fear, but full of worry. My scrupulosity was so intense that I even made it the topic of my final project at school during my Psychology class! Just so I had an excuse to talk about it and put all my obsessive compulsive researching on it to good use. I would come home many days and wish that a car would accidentally hit me while crossing the street so I could be free from the prison I created inside of my own head. But now I wish for the exact opposite, to be alive, so I can guide others to the truth, hopefully, in some way. Luckily, I'm in a much better place now. And I do not condone any of the thoughts in my head from before I learned UR.

 

I would try all sorts of new modern psychological tricks to give me relief. The Havening Technique, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Buddhist meditation. None of those New Age Spiritual tricks provided a permanent solution. It wasn't until I learned Universal Reconciliation where I truly felt relief.

 

For me, The Truth, is like a journey. It's something that everyone must walk themselves. I think that's why God created this life on Earth before Heaven. Everyone has to voluntarily choose of their own free will to be saved by Jesus Christ. If someone is born and in a happy heaven paradise forever already, they might not appreciate the truth if they didn't see the other side.

 

But at the same time, I hate the sin created in this current life, from myself and others. I don't want anyone else to suffer what I went through! If I had to choose, I'd do everything in my power to teleport someone past the rocky painful journey right to the happy zone of knowing the truth already. But then again, it was only because of that pain that pushed me to the truth. The Problem of Evil at it's finest! But I have to trust in God, that all of this will work out in the end for the better.

 

So I hope if someone is reading this many years from now, like I read that user's post 9 years from when it was made, that you may also find this post comforting, relatable, reassuring??? I hope this message finds you in good health. It's all I can do, to make the journey for others as least painful as possible after all.

 

[quote][size=14pt]

John 15:12: gMy command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.h

 

Galatians 6:2: gCarry each otherfs burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

 

Hebrews 13:16: gAnd do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.[/size][/quote]