February 14 2023
Re-Entry 8: Friendship
Well, these recollections are becoming more like forum responses. But the main theme is focused on my life story technically. Though truly, I appreciate the replies on this. It’s good to sort through them. And this person Meerkat2 is very nice, much better than being slandered on the Christianity Board website.
https://www.city-data.com/forum/christianity/1010834-non-debate-friendship-thread-461.html
“
I believe your family is doing good with speaking
with her about how she is feeling, it will allow her to work things out”
I even archived it. Because they say my family is good when we love our sister, which is true, those who say otherwise are the slanderers, though I still forgive them. I pity them, and hope they understand love better :) And I rejoice, because this was a big slander, so I will be rewarded in Heaven for this persecution <3
[QUOTE=Meerkat2;64870064]I responded in the friendship thread[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the notice, I put my response there too. We can continue on there my friend :)
[QUOTE=Meerkat2;64870117]Originally Posted by HSong
I changed my mind and deleted my original post to you :)
I’m not sure that at this stage you should be trying to convince you sister of UR though - it sounds like this is a personal not religious thing about her relationship to others outside the family
I believe we all have our own internal compass so to speak that will guide us individually and personally to where we fit within various societal relationships and she needs to figure it out herself with you and your family to support her
I believe your family is doing good with speaking with her about how she is feeling, it will allow her to work things out
As her brother what she needs from you is the knowledge that you understand or are trying to understand her personal experiences she is having with her relationships with others outside the family, and help her to navigate them
What can happen is the personal and religious things can get mixed up and throw people out of balance so to speak, and they lose their own ‘compass’[/QUOTE]
Hmmm... interesting. I should hold off on the UR thing, do you think, my friend? It can be tricky to know when is good timing. And of course, as a family member, I'm always worried that something might happen before I have the chance to tell her. Like... I don't want to rush into it, but at the same time, I don't want to take too long.
I see, thank you for your advice my friend, I appreciate it. I'm glad to hear my family is doing well with our approach. There's a saying, where we always tell each other to cry it out, to don't hold back tears and let them flow. And a great deal can be accomplished simply through talking So, as her brother then, I will continue to help her sort through those emotions.
I've already mentioned some UR aspects too her, so should I take the time to explain them more properly or just leave it up in the air for now?
Also, what are your thoughts on this. Should I try to introduce more religion into regular conversation or hold off on it? Like putting in Bible verses into daily speech? I have good intentions, I just don't want it to maybe come across as too forced, if that makes sense.
I thought mentioning Christianity in terms of life advice would help her understand her feelings better, especially since my mother was the one who has started talking more about religion to her. So, it's again, kind of tricky. I don't want my mom to give her these false ideas of ET, so I'm tempted to like swoop in and show her the UR truth already. I love my mom, she's kind and nice, but she believes in ET. I mean, I've met plenty of nice people who believe in ET, it's like the beliefs and the personality can be different.
https://www.city-data.com/forum/christianity/1010834-non-debate-friendship-thread-460.html
[QUOTE=Meerkat2;64870757]I think the best approach is to be available when and if she wants to talk of it
UR for me is something I have come to understand for myself and I don’t think it can be or should be forced on anyone
Our natural reaction when being forced or shamed or manipulated is to either shutdown and repress things or to fight them
And yes our beliefs and our personalities are different
How I have come to understand it is our beliefs are part of relating to the external environment and the personality is the internal and we need both to function as an individual human being[/QUOTE]
I see. Then I will trust your advice and not start religious conversation unless she asks first. I greatly appreciate the clarification, my friend. Love is patient. Sure, I talk about Christianity a lot online, but in real life, I very rarely have the chance to discuss it. And I have a lot of verses memorized. I try to catch myself, but sometimes I start to sound like a robot going all Titus 2:11 Luke 3:6 1 Cor 13:8 XD
Many years ago, I used to talk about Christianity a lot with my family, but I stopped doing that, because I found my mother and I disagreed on beliefs like ET, so I didn't want to start debates (I guess similar to the name of this thread lol). Like, I stated my UR point she stated her ET point, and we left it at that. And like you said, our beliefs and our personalities are different. So we're still really close friends, despite doctrinal differences. :) You make a good point about natural reaction, with repression or fighting. That's a problem I find with debates, it becomes less about finding the truth, and more about, trying to "win" with a respective point.
Now, with the news about Russia's invasion of Ukraine, my mom has been thinking more about the "end of the world" (idk when it'll happen tho), which naturally lends itself to more religious talk, some of which can potentially be fearful, since my mother is also afraid. So it's made me also try to mention more UR, to try to give hope.
Another question I have is this: My sister says that whenever her friends (like the good crowd, the ones we let her be around) hang out without her, she feels sad. She feels she misses out on inside jokes, conversations, once in a lifetime events. We don't stop her from attending these, sometimes it's her own decision when she's burnt out, or is busy studying for exams. What should I say in response to this?
(Sorry if this is a lot lol, but I feel I have learnt a lot by talking with you, my friend, and I will try to take advantage of the opportunity, so to speak).
Thanks for PMing me about this. Good to hear from you, despite the circumstances. And I wasn't trying to hurt you.
I think that what you posted gave everyone the wrong idea. Especially the lack of detail about what your sister has said and what she actually wants.
Hi St Steven,
Thank you for your understanding my friend, truly. My intention for the post was primarily to ask for prayers.
I've researched and have just realized that the word "rebuke" has this implication of harshness. For me, I use it as a word for correction. However, I have learned now to try to avoid using it for personal situations like these.
I would like to apologize for any lack of detail I may have provided.
While we're talking, I would like to hear any advice you have when it comes to communicating with people in kindness, such as in my position as a brother to my sister. I've looked at many of your posts and consider you very wise. Thus, I would much rather learn more gentleness and social grace through words now, than bad experience later. I may be very good with theology, soteriology, but I struggle with some specific socializing aspects, I will admit as one of my personal shortcomings.
I was talking with her, comforting her, and she said that she feels a "fear of missing out" when she feels too burnt out or is too busy studying to hang out with her friends, worried that they may create inside jokes and develop stronger relationships without her. We let her choose whether to go out with this good crowd of friends, and we're grateful that these good influences are there to offset the bad influences. What do you believe would be a good way to answer this question?
And in general, how do you think we should approach her with the topic of Christianity and Universal Reconciliation.
Please have a wonderful day my friend,
Harold Samson