Re-Entry 7: Slander

February 13 2023

 

https://www.christianityboard.com/threads/my-sister-wants-to-become-an-atheist-and-run-away-because-my-mother-my-father-and-i-brother-are-christian.53804/#post-1514059

Here's a response I posted to this thread, but figured it would be good for context here too. A shame that so many people are slandering my family, when not only does my mother, father and I (brother) support my sister, but also my sister supports our family in return.

 

My friend, I say these words with kindness. We have established house rules telling her that she is not allowed to go to these dangerous parties. Because they are far away at night time when it's very dark in areas where there's a lot of crimes with bad crowds. Her friends have abandoned her in the middle of nowhere, at bus stops, expecting her to go home in areas filled with criminals.

 

 

 

1 Corinthians 13:8 Love never fails

 

 

 

Proverbs 13:1 A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

 

 

We let her go to regular parties, hang out with ordinary people. But the people she wants to go with for these parties specifically are engaging in very reckless, dangerous behavior. So, we are protecting her safety out of love and kindness. We forgive her for all she's done. We always tell her how much she's loved and valued. But these "friends" she hangs out with, this dangerous crowd specifically, they don't value her at all! She's getting emotionally manipulated by this bad crowd.

 

 

 

Ephesians 4:2 With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

 

 

We have helped her study, we've gone on trips outside with her, laughing and having fun. She's even admitted to us that she's sorry for lying, and we forgive her, and we love her. And she's admitted that her behavior is bad, but she feels peer pressure to keep going on these dangerous outings, and she's cried to us about how her friends are taking advantage of her!

 

 

 

John 14:15 gIf you love me, you will keep my commandments.

 

 

So my friends in this thread, when you say things about our family, know this. My sister admits what she's done is wrong and she has come to us requesting our help. She's realized more and more how our love for her will never end. That's why we rebuke her, because she asks for our rebuke. That's why she feels comfortable being honest about her feelings, about not believing the Bible is fact. She thought she would get kicked out of the house for saying that, but we reassured her that we will let her stay :) Because even though we're a Christian household, we love her.

 

 

 

Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.

 

 

That's why, I say to my friends in this thread, we truly are helping her. She has honestly said that she doesn't know how to tell her friends "no" when going out. She feels forced to do these dangerous things with her friends, so we are freeing her. That's what I mean about the road of destruction. They drive around in dangerous road conditions, and potentially don't focus on the road. They almost could have gotten into a car accident and got killed! They run around on the streets, putting themselves at risk for criminals to attack them. And my sister doesn't want to be forced to hang out with these friends, but she doesn't know how to stop.

 

 

 

Colossians 3:14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

 

 

So we've comforted her when she's cried about her friends! She's crying about her friends bad behavior! She feels this need to go with them all the time, to try to help them, but we're telling her that she's getting burnt out. And she feels this need to run away with her friends because she's worried about them too. But for us, as her family, we prioritize her safety first. We tell her "We love you, and you've told your friends what you've said, so just leave it as that".

 

 

 

Leviticus 19:17 gYou shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.

 

 

So that's what I mean when I say rebuke. My friends in this thread, I love you all, so I tell you this truth. I wish I could give more details, but I wish to protect my families privacy, however when I say dangerous I truly mean dangerous. I'm really downplaying the dangers she has.

 

 

 

1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.

 

 

So my friends in this thread, I forgive you all, even though there are those of you who slander my family. She has come to us for help, willingly, asking for support, and we rebuke her, and she admits what she has done is wrong, and we forgive her. That is true love my friends! :D She has said that because of our kindness and supports, she feels less peer pressure to always go out with her friends.

 

 

 

Romans 12:9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

 

 

Here's what she admits. When she hangs out with this friend group, she feels alone! Everyone's talking, but her, she's off alone, just watching these friends talk with each other. She has honestly told this to us. Another reason why I call them a "bad crowd". Not only do they not respect my sister, but they also try to force her to do dangerous activity like things that she's not comfortable with. Meanwhile, when she's with her family, everyone's talking to her, we're all having fun, mother, father, sister, brother. But with her friends, they just use her. It's a great shame how she's emotionally abused by her friends.

 

 

 

So no matter what people say on this thread, we will never stop loving her! This is the definition of rebuking with love! Telling her she's valued, with love and kindness, by us, far more than her friends, who take advantage of her. Hopefully that clarifies most of the situation, because there's many people on this thread who assume our family acts one way, when really it's another. And they are rebuking an assumption.

 

 

 

1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

 

 

And it's interesting, because I agree with many of what you have all said, in terms of rebuking a controlling malicious family, like r/raisedbynarcissists, flying monkeys, emotional abusers, etc. But, my friends, that's not what my family is. So, it is good that all of you are rebuking evil families, that impose extreme legalistic rules, that abuse people like fundamentalists, I also rebuke those families my friends! But that is not my family. I wish to tell you all that out of truth. So, even though this is technically just quoting St Steven's post, this is a message to everyone else on this thread. I've read your posts, and they hurt my heart. The words you have said really hurt, because of how dishonest some of them are :( How woeful the Internet can be sometimes, It can be hard to describe situations with mere words, so people always assume the worst and start attacking. My family members are the nicest, gentlest, kindest people I have ever met. Much more joyful and open and accepting then the vast majority of other people I have met in the world. They are my emotional support net, they are my kindness, my shield, just like how the Lord is my strength and my song. And my sister sees our family the same way, because she has told us this. I have so many happy memories with them, over just regular friends. And my sister agrees. We celebrate Christmas with each other, laughing and smiling with each other. And my sister wishes that we could form more memories with each other, of these happy times, but she feels forced to go with her friends. :(

 

 

 

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

 

We've watched movies together, theorizing about plots and laughing, cheering. We've played sports, like tennis with each other. We do this things, because we enjoy being with each other! We talk for ours on end, we react to the news with each other. She has group projects, and we help her with her feelings. We collaborate on assignments. We work together, having fun together. The happiest moments in my life have been with our family. I've talked to my mom on the phone and someone said "Wow, it sounds like you're talking to a friend", but that's really my mom! And my sister talks to my mom the same way.  :D

 

 

 

John 15:12 gThis is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

 

 

So my friends in this thread, love never fails! Even though there are those among you who may slander my family, know this, we will never stop creating fun and happy memories with my sister :D All the people in this thread may want to bring my family down, but I say to you all kindly and gently, we will never stop supporting each other through tough times. It's like the Lord, even though rebuke lasts a moment, respect and good tidings lasts permanently after! <3

 

 

 

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

 

Hi St Steven,

 

 

 

Just wanted to let you know that I love you, as a Brother in Christ. You support Christian Universalism, which is true. You were honestly one of my role models, on the other Christian forums site. 1 Cor 13:8 Love never fails.

 

 

 

There's a thread where I talk about my family, where I requested prayers for the difficult situation.

 

https://www.christianityboard.com/posts/1514207/

 

I agree with your rebukes against abusive families. I also rebuke abusive families. However, it hurts my heart that you associate abusive families with my family :( My family and I, we value each other deeply, far beyond mere friends.

 

 

 

Maybe I could have worded the situation with more detail, since I believe you assumed the worse. My whole family were praying for a solution, including my sister, so I figured I would post about it online to get more prayers. Yet, I'm left feeling very hurt emotionally :(

 

Luke 3:6 All flesh shall see the salvation of God

 

 

 

Again, I still care about you, my friend. But my sister came to us for support, and we showed her support, by "rebuking" bad behavior that she acknowledged was bad. It's so hard to capture the environment with just words on a screen, but it was a net positive. If that makes sense. I hope this clears things up.

 

 

 

Just wanted to vent out my thoughts my friend,

 

-Harold Samson

 

[QUOTE=Oakback;64869280]Beautiful[/QUOTE]

 

Thank you so so much my friend. Even if it's one word, I really appreciate the support. Before typing this, I was just talking to my mom, with joy and laughter. And I think of all the happy memories my family has made and will continue to make. So it hurts to have those memories slandered.

 

Like, even though I am a Christian Universalist, when someone is against UR, I treat it as a doctrine debate. Just scripture on forums, back and forth. But with personal stuff like family matters, attacks on it feel really personal. I thought I could go there asking for prayers of support, but instead my whole family is insulted in many different ways. Even one of my closest UR online friends, St Steven, started insulting me. Shows that I should trust the Lord moreso than regular human people, I guess...

 

I forgive them. I don't blame them in some respect, because, maybe they're just assuming the worst. It's hard to write all the details in word. And I agree with them when they rebuke abusive families, I also rebuke abusive families, but then they relate it to my family and it hurts. That's why I try to rebuke things which have definitive proof, since speculation can be harmful.

 

1 Cor 13:8 Love never fails.

 

UPDATE Feb 13 2023: I prayed to the Lord to fight against this slander. We had our suspicions, but this confirms it. My mother has now confirmed today, this moment, that my sisterfs friends are talking about doing hardcore drugs, weed and cocaine. My sister is a minor, below 18, and they tried to get her to drink alcohol, which is dangerous, since getting intoxicated could potentially lead to sexually assault. I didnft want to reveal these details until it was confirmed, because this is very serious. This is the road to destruction. Literally. Because they drive in dangerous road conditions.

 

She stayed with the friend group because she has a crush on a boy, but she discovered the boy talks about doing extreme drugs like cocaine, this is the illegal criminal behaviour I was talking about. Her heart is crushed, shefs cried about it, waking my mother up late at night for many days. Ifve sat next to her, as shefs cried, offering her Bible verses of support. My sister is incredibly thankful for our support, our loving grebukeh of her behaviour. Even though she doesnft believe all the Bible is true, she says she believes in the verses I showed her about love. It has truly hurt my heart that so many people online continue to falsely accuse my family of being abusive. Please stop slandering us my friends :( I forgive you all though, no matter how much hurtful things people say. My family members are amongst the most gentlest, supportive, caring people I know!

 

Another one of these friends, who knows about my sisterfs crush, has taunted and mocked my sister. She laid her head on his lap and did other secret things with him. Shefs tried to stalk and find out where his home address his. Wefre worried shefll find where we live and where she might physically harm us out of jealousy. Or she could potentially poison the food they eat. My sister says she is traumatized. We must protect her, itfs our family duty, this is TRUE kindness my friends! We love my sister and rebuke her feelings of self-doubt towards herself. She deserves so SO MUCH better <3. Even to those gfriendsh who have traumatized my sister, I forgive them.

 

[QUOTE=Meerkat2;64869930]A problem that children can have growing up in a religious home is that they need to figure out where they personally and individually fit (if at all) in the  religious environment

 

I think what is probably happening is that your sister is at the age where there is an internal processing of what she has been taught and how it efitsf  for her personally and individually and she sounds like she has a bit of confusion about where she fits in the religious environment, the home environment and the social  environment

 

You have said previously that your mother believes in ET and you believe in UR?  That in itself will likely cause confusion for her

 

I know at 15 in the 1970fs that after being brought up/indoctrinated in a AOG church that the concept of ET itself was inconceivable to me at a personal level and it created a religious and personal  dissonance for me at that time, and  I have only been able to put into perspective over the past 10-12 years[/QUOTE]

 

Hi Meerykat2 my friend. Thank you for your response. It's been really tough, these last couple days. People online who I thought supported me, are now against me, on other forums. But I'm glad all of you on this forum are really friendly and kind :)

 

Your words are true. When I was growing up in this Christian household, I went to church, but didn't believe in Christ, I wasn't saved. Eventually, I admitted to my mother I was a nihilist. She rebuked me, in kindness of course, that there is meaning in this world. And at the time, I didn't understand, but now I do, and I'm thankful for her rebuke. It saved me from committing suicide.

 

So yes, it really does seem she has troubles fitting into the environment. She's a minor, below 18, so her brain biologically would still be developing. I don't blame her for her feelings, because I was just like her when I was younger.

 

Yes, my mother and my father both believe in Eternal Torment, but I believe in Universal Reconciliation. They don't talk about hell often, but when they do, I try to lovingly correct them with Sheol, realm of the dead, as where people go when they die.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience in the AOG church. My sister also mentions hell, but it's hard to know if I've been explaining the whole "Everyone goes to Heaven through Christ" concept properly that she understands it. She doesn't explicitly say that "hell is forever" just like, the word hell, if that makes sense. So I'm hoping to dedicate more time to explaining UR to her, in more detail.

 

I've tried to explain it to my mother and father at least, but they reject it. Again, I don't blame them. I used to believe in ET too. And believing in UR really flips your whole world view, for the better of course. That' why I try to be kind towards those who believe in ET, I used to be one of them :)