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Phil. 3:21 Jesus is "able even to subdue ALL THINGS to Himself."

 

Journal Entry 97 – Teach Y

December 21^st (Thursday) 2017

why does the timing have to be bad. Like literally, here’s some things that suck because of it. (Because it’s sucked the energy out of me, that I’m too tired to actually make it into a functional paragraph at this point).

 

Ø  It’s close to the end of year (before Christmas break), so while that does mean I get to relax after, the

But I’m not weak enough to get trigged at this stuff, I’m just writing this as filler and for fun.

I do not drink alcohol and I never have in my life.

Guy from church said hey to me. Not a friendly hey, but a “hey you haven’t been to our church for a while you swingily didly come out around neighborino?” kinda of hey. I see him so many times in the hallway, but he literally only tells me about this when it’s like the day of, so you know what, just because of that, I’m not going to the church, I will not be obsessive

Mostly, I’m afraid my worries will never go away. [They will go away]

·        Yes, figure out what are your negative core beliefs that lead to fearful thoughts and emotions. Then, look at them, analyze them, turn them around… and realize that they have no validity and let them go.

·        Become aware of your negative thoughts that cause those nasty, fearful emotions. Whenever you catch yourself indulging in those kinds of thoughts, just say stop and simply refuse to think any more of those thoughts that don’t do you any good.

·        Simply “change the topic”, like in a boring conversation and think about something more uplifting – change your train of thoughts

The process is simple, but it will take some time and practice to establish the habit of “dropping unbeneficial thoughts” and “changing the topic” towards something more positive.

I always recommend to keep a daily diary where you write down how many bad thoughts you caught and threw out of the window, how long it took you to become aware of a train of negative thoughts, how easy or difficult it was to change the topic… and anything else that seems interesting and helpful to you.

Your current way of thinking and being unconscious about your thoughts is a habit you probably built over several decades. This has become a very strong habit and it won’t be possible to break it in only a few days and replace it with a completely new one. So, please be patient.

Every day, make a conscious effort to break those old patterns and don’t judge your immediate results. Give it at least 2 months – that’s not very long – and you will have formed a tremendously powerful and positive way to control and consciously direct your thoughts, which will allow you to get rid of your worries and fears for good.

http://everythingiswithin.com/simple-way-get-rid-worries-doubts-fears-replace-joy-happiness/

But that negativity won’t help me. There’s 0 validity to my fears, I literally sleep well all the time. I have a soft cuddly blanket, a cold fan and quietness. Tasty yogurt, fun family, good laughs, all these things I’m thankful for Lord. Thank you.

The power of positive thinking. So who cares, life is fun.

https://www.anxiety.org/positive-thinking-may-lessen-anxiety-gad-pathological-worry

I can’t sleep? More time to be awake and play!

I’ll be tired tomorrow? My thoughts will go slower and I’ll worry less because I’m thinking less!

I’m not saved? Hell’s not eternal, so in another time I’ll have another chance. [Everyone will go to Heaven] God loves us. I believed I am saved.

I have to evangelize? Nah, you don’t need rewards in Heaven to get to Heaven, that’s why they’re rewards.

Lol, get rekt Satan.

Actually, I shouldn’t really be invoking the name of the devil himself, since I don’t want to piss him off directly, so I’ll just insult one of his subordinates.

Lol, get bamboozled Bezlebub

(Ok, that “more time to be awake and play” was really powerful for me. Thank you Lord, for blessing me so. God, I love you above all else, thank you for your unconditional and ever-so gracious love. I love you Father, and you love me. Amen.)

But now that I think about it…

It’s so close to the break already.

While part of me is stressed because, I shouldn’t be.

So I shouldn’t stress about perfectionism, or else I’ll just ruin the last chance I have before the exam to relax. I should be with my family and just have fun. Not try to regret or force myself to feel sorry for this action, because right now I feel nothing. Instead, just to relax. All of my sins are already forgiven though the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, so all I have to do now is forgive myself.

It's ok.

I’m ok.

I’m living life to relax. I’ve suffered enough already, I’m not going to let religion take advantage of me any longer. Lest my suffering and the suffering of my mother in her cult be in vain.