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Journal Entry 97 – Teach Y

December 21st (Thursday) 2017

why does the timing have to be bad. Like literally, herefs some things that suck because of it. (Because itfs sucked the energy out of me, that Ifm too tired to actually make it into a functional paragraph at this point).


Ø  Itfs close to the end of year (before Christmas break), so while that does mean I get to relax after, the

But Ifm not weak enough to get trigged at this stuff, Ifm just writing this as filler and for fun.

I do not drink alcohol and I never have in my life.


Guy from church said hey to me. Not a friendly hey, but a ghey you havenft been to our church for a while you swingily didly come out around neighborino?h kinda of hey. I see him so many times in the hallway, but he literally only tells me about this when itfs like the day of, so you know what, just because of that, Ifm not going to the church, I will not be obsessive

Mostly, Ifm afraid my worries will never go away. [They will go away]

·        Yes, figure out what are your negative core beliefs that lead to fearful thoughts and emotions. Then, look at them, analyze them, turn them aroundc and realize that they have no validity and let them go.

·        Become aware of your negative thoughts that cause those nasty, fearful emotions. Whenever you catch yourself indulging in those kinds of thoughts, just say stop and simply refuse to think any more of those thoughts that donft do you any good.

·        Simply gchange the topich, like in a boring conversation and think about something more uplifting – change your train of thoughts

The process is simple, but it will take some time and practice to establish the habit of gdropping unbeneficial thoughtsh and gchanging the topich towards something more positive.

I always recommend to keep a daily diary where you write down how many bad thoughts you caught and threw out of the window, how long it took you to become aware of a train of negative thoughts, how easy or difficult it was to change the topicc and anything else that seems interesting and helpful to you.

Your current way of thinking and being unconscious about your thoughts is a habit you probably built over several decades. This has become a very strong habit and it wonft be possible to break it in only a few days and replace it with a completely new one. So, please be patient.

Every day, make a conscious effort to break those old patterns and donft judge your immediate results. Give it at least 2 months – thatfs not very long – and you will have formed a tremendously powerful and positive way to control and consciously direct your thoughts, which will allow you to get rid of your worries and fears for good.

But that negativity wonft help me. Therefs 0 validity to my fears, I literally sleep well all the time. I have a soft cuddly blanket, a cold fan and quietness. Tasty yogurt, fun family, good laughs, all these things Ifm thankful for Lord. Thank you.

The power of positive thinking. So who cares, life is fun.

I canft sleep? More time to be awake and play!

Ifll be tired tomorrow? My thoughts will go slower and Ifll worry less because Ifm thinking less!

Ifm not saved? Hellfs not eternal, so in another time Ifll have another chance. [Everyone will go to Heaven] God loves us. I believed I am saved.

I have to evangelize? Nah, you donft need rewards in Heaven to get to Heaven, thatfs why theyfre rewards.

Lol, get rekt Satan.

Actually, I shouldnft really be invoking the name of the devil himself, since I donft want to piss him off directly, so Ifll just insult one of his subordinates.

Lol, get bamboozled Bezlebub

(Ok, that gmore time to be awake and playh was really powerful for me. Thank you Lord, for blessing me so. God, I love you above all else, thank you for your unconditional and ever-so gracious love. I love you Father, and you love me. Amen.)


But now that I think about itc

Itfs so close to the break already.

While part of me is stressed because, I shouldnft be.

So I shouldnft stress about perfectionism, or else Ifll just ruin the last chance I have before the exam to relax. I should be with my family and just have fun. Not try to regret or force myself to feel sorry for this action, because right now I feel nothing. Instead, just to relax. All of my sins are already forgiven though the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, so all I have to do now is forgive myself.

It's ok.

Ifm ok.

Ifm living life to relax. Ifve suffered enough already, Ifm not going to let religion take advantage of me any longer. Lest my suffering and the suffering of my mother in her cult be in vain.