Jesus will save everyone. Believe in Christ. All will.

JEREMIAH 30:24 See what a scorching wind has gone out from the Lord, a sweeping whirlwind. It whirls round the heads of the wicked; the Lord's anger is not to be turned aside, till he has finished and achieved his heart's desire. In days to come you will understand. ( NEB )


Journal Entry 51 – Another Calm Bump

November 5th (Sunday) 2017

James 4:14 - Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

Yesterday felt wasted

Colossians 3:20,  Children, obey [your] parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

1 Timothy 5:8, But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Now you may think thatfs harsh and blunt to say. gOh, one day? Seriously? That canft be that badh. Thing is, Ifm an introvert and I NEED my alone time. Itfs not a suggestion, itfs a need. Ever since the start of this semester, Ifve been slowly becoming more and more deprived and agitated, desiring more and more to get out of school and get a job and be able to have my own personal space.

·       I try to tell her that I need rest, but shefs not saved (believes in the heresy of Lordship Salvation) and just complains about how much work she does all the time.

·       I try to go to the store to get some noise cancelling headphones to cancel out their screams so I can relax in my lonesome and peace and quiet, until I realize that noise cancelling headphones canft cancel out screams, only irregular noise patterns. The best they can do is muffle those screams when theyfre over the ear.

·       Matthew 14:22-23, And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.

I feel like Ifm at my breaking point and I just canft take it. I trust God and try not to worry, but how can I not worry during times like these?

Proverbs 12:25, Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

I donft even look forward to the weekends anymore. Before I was saved, I did because at least then they knew how to give me my alone time and time to relax. But now, I donft have any of that. I love my family, but I canft spend all this time around them.

Mark 6:31, And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart* into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.

Psalm 127:2, It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

Joshua 1:9, Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoe

Galatians 6:9, And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.ver thou goest.

I just want to die and to get to Heaven already. All people deserve the time to rest and relax. To do things they enjoy, hobbies, for fun.

Itfs not biblical to be burnt out all the time, but instead to have time just to have fun and relax. I need that time and want that time, without having my mom constantly hovering around my room all the time. I donft want to be that type of parent.

Psalm 127:3-5, Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

One Person: So what are you looking forward to in life?

Me: Death.

Itfs true, I hate living and being alive. Just because I say that doesnft mean that Ifm going to kill myself, life is sacred, Ifm just tired of going through this stuff. Itfs only been 5 months since Ifve been saved yet it feels like a whole life time. Yet, therefs still so much of this life left to go through that I hope it just gets more relaxing and better after this is done with. I pray that life later wonft be as gruelling and hard as this, because at this point in my life, I absolutely hate being alive. [Future Song here, 5 years later, I have gotten stronger, I fight back against the hardships of life and sin, which have also gotten stronger. Even so, come Lord Jesus! The end is nearly here my friends, when we will all be in Heaven together]

I look at the clouds

With a voice I say aloud

Itfs true I have no choice

Whether this burden I lay or hoist

For Ifm pressured to hurt in

The precious time I assert in

Yet will it not all time be delicious

When like the wind, the water is fictious?

Isaiah 40:31, But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Psalm 37:7, Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

I feel so much previous to use all the precious time I have, yet I should realise that God doesnft want me to feel worried over a big to do list, but rather to enjoy my differences and be happy. Makes me wonder whether a Christian is supposed to enjoy life or is just supposed to feel burnt out 24/7.

At least by talking to my mom, I realised that she was for Lordship Salvation. I pray that she may realize the truth, that we are saved by faith alone in Jesus Christ, if saved always saved, so that she may not go and burn in Hell for all eternity but rather relax as I hope to relax in Heaven. That is the blessed hope of the believer, sealed by the Holy Spirit unto the Day of Redemption.

I just want to relax yo. See ya later.

Galatians 2:16 - Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.


Ifll be depressed in life no matter what, whether I work hard or not. Might as well work hard, because at least then Ifll have a better life. The only reward I get with not working hard is the certainty that this depression will carry on for the rest of my days.