Jesus Christ will save all those who have faith in Him, which will be everyone, the entire world will become believers in Christ Jesus, Our King!

Hebrews 2:5-9: "Now it was not to angels that God subjected the world to come, of which we are speaking. It has been testified somewhere, "What is man, that you are mindful of Him, or the son of man, that you care for Him? You made him for a little while lower than the angels; you have crowned Him with glory and honor, putting everything in subjection under His feet."

 

Journal Entry 36 – Hollow Starving

October 21^st (Saturday) 2017

I’ve wasted this whole day, trying to relax when I can’t. I want to have fun, yet want to be productive, I don’t want to waste any time and work as hard as I can for eternity.

Yet, that’s not what God wants. For doing my evangelism and soul winning is meaningless if it’s not done out of the love of God. Because right now, all I’m simply doing it out of is fear. Not fear of going to Hell [Future Note: Hell is temporary mental suffering, Sheol] mind you, for I know with 100% assurance and certainty that I am going to Heaven no matter what, by simple faith in Jesus Christ alone. Once saved, always saved. My faith is the root that saves me, now I am a new creation that produces works of fruit, sealed with the Holy Spirit unto the day of my redemption.

I’ll be planning to add in all of those comment answers on an official website of my own, that’s my dream.

Anyways, as much as I want to get back unto my work, I can’t because I’m hungry. I tried to fast and want to while I’m doing my work, but I know it’s not what God would want. He wants me to relax to rest and to eat. He wants me to live my life, because how can he reward my life if I’m not living it. I will do with what God has given to me. After I eat, then I’ll do my work. I will finish them today so I can relax and have enough time to go to church tomorrow. Like proverbs and psalms always mention, I will, I will… I will.

I In the Bible, it clearly talks about the power of fasts and how it makes a person more dedicated to God, but of course those fasts have to be first directed to Him in the first place. Why haven’t I ate? Well, because I want to finish my work that I haven’t been able to finish for this entire day. Literally, you know that block of text one above the other one that says that I was going to get down to work after watching that. I was in agony just searching up other stuff that I can’t get now because I’m stuck and trapped and helpless in this hell. This feels like hell. It drags on, every day it’s like a new sort of punishment torture, like oohh, instead of gasoline in this fire, lets put uranium.

I hate every noise that comes from this. I just want noise cancelling headphones, I just want this to end, I just want to die. My body wants me to die, but my soul and spirit don’t want me to, as they are new creations in Christ. I just need to wait until the glorious Second Coming of Christ [there’s a preterist perspective that the second coming of Christ happened around 70 AD], the Day of Redemption where I will be given my new, permanent, holy and glorified body to rule with Christ forever and ever. I am saved and will always be saved no matter what. [All people will be saved no matter what, all people will believe in Christ Jesus by faith alone] It is not of my works that I am saved, but by faith alone in Jesus Christ. When I am in Heaven, I’ll finally be able to play. Imagine all of the music that can go there

I’m taking on too much. Wanted to do this poster by written but I so graciously took on the role of doing the whole thing technologically online. I’m going to ask for my families help, I wanna try to stuff as many obscure Bible references into this poster, just to win some souls in the hall (Though, I can’t be too blunt about it, since the has to check if it’s something that’s safe for everyone. And there are other religious people besides Christians soo….)

Reminds me of a question people would ask me. “Would you do [INSERT ENTERTAINING STUNT] if someone paid you {INSERT LARGE SUM OF MONEY]”? The problem with this is, if someone were paying me that much money to do the stunt, they probably have more money than what they’ve given to me. If they went through all the trouble of setting up this stunt with all this money, then there’s most likely something planned here to kill me. Though, I appreciate the enthusiasm, makes me feel special if someone would invest that much of their money just to kill me. (Though, they wouldn’t have to pay me if I were dead, so really it’s more like risk that much money).

 

When I was behind that locked door, inside this room of agony,  I felt burning hot. It felt like hell. Like hell was burning the flesh on my skin, the drops of sweat over my face. She kept on screaming at me.

 

And she doesn’t know that I’ve gone through literal hell trying to finish my work. What’s worse is that I can’t even thoroughjly desaceibe my pain becusae I can’[t type fast enough to get ever yspeeding through that comes to my mind. I need faster typing speed, the pain I just want to die. Ki8ll me why didn’t I suffocate in my room. I felt the pain of not having air cicruclation and not berrwesthtifgn iu just want to die. Kill me, kill me, kill me. Words cannot even begin to describe this pain that I feel, the conviction of the Holy Spriti upon me. I hate

I’m starving but I just want to finish my work already. That’’s all I want. For this whole day all that I’ve wanted to do was to finish my work, to finish it now already, but I kept on getting distracted. Over and over again it just kept repeating. Oh look, I’m depressed, let’s get some Bible to motivate me. Oh great, I\m sadder because I just got on a theological debate about Lordship Salvationists or other work salvationists who think repentance is turning from sins and is not changing your mind. I keep on searching iuntil I’m comforted y the message of the ttrue correcte gospel, that it’s by faith alone in Jesus Christ that we are saved, not by our own works. Then, after going through that, I try to relish in these few moments of happiness and joy that I have so I search.. Lord knows that I’ll get a great reward in Heaven if I resist this and survive through this tribulation, I hate my life and I want to die. I just want to get on top of my school and jump off of it. I don’t care if I look dead in a dismantled state, I just want to jump off of it, a second of pain and finally peace. I can’t have that though because I still need to save other people from hell, other people who are probably suffering like me or who are suffering a sufferijng much worse than mine, who don’t know Christianity and don’t have the Holy Spirit to comfort them through their times. I’ve read up some suicide victim or near suicide victim stories and dang their pretty intense. People on the floor and not being abloe to move, or this one girl who locked herself in the bathroom because she ddidn’t want to see what the real world looked like. PRety consistent theme of locking yourself in rooms right.

[Future Song here, I’m in a much better state mentally after learning about Universal Salvation, that Christ will save all, so I’m not tortured by survivor’s guilty of not being able to save my family. Christian Universalism heals my friends :) I promise you all, even those who feel a despair as horrible as to make you want to commit suicide, the Lord will save you and give you life. He loves you all! ]

I can’t take this hunger though, this God fast that I have to concentrate on my work that I never got to. Though, this suffering has edified me, showing me just how badly I need my household too so they don’t have to go through this literal living hell that I’ve came through and have come back from . I’m going to eat my full, I will be whole again, I will not hunger again. I will be happy when the sun comes down and the day is over.