Christ Jesus, all souls come to Him, faith alone, Heaven.

JOEL 2:28, 3:21 And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people ... Their bloodguilt which I have not pardoned, I will pardon. (NIV)

 

Journal Entry 112 – Phoney Foam

January 5^th (Friday) 2018

Hey guys, welcome back to my daily fandom chat. That’s right, in an attempt not to think about that THING, I’m just going to think about fandoms instead. My introvert mind is always going to think about things so deeply, so might as well do it on a variety of subject matter amirite? Because did He not create more than just that THING? Did He not create more to life than just that THING. Life is to be enjoyed and I find that THING boring because it’s literally the same THING all the time.

Like literally, it’s just dry skin, I want something fresh and cool homie.

Personally, what I’m planning to do is, wait hold up. Excellent

Ok, I just realized that whatever pics and vids and other file types I save, if you go into their properties, you can see the date they were created. The date that they were created is actually the date in which I saved them to my computer!

I find that cool because it helps to outline my interests as a person, and maybe somebody can actually use what I have as a test or something idk. I’m planning to upload some cool stuff that I have, real funny pics, not out of some major THING purpose, but because it’s fun and helps me be satisfied from my work.

These fandoms make me look forward to living life, every day. That THING, it just made me look forward to death. But these things, all of these content creators and Youtube videos and Reddit memes, it’s all so wonderful.

It’s not wrong to be satisfied with your work. No matter what I do, I’m already all good for after the THING and into death. Does that mean I should kill myself? No. Not because that THING tells me not to, but because there’s so much to life that I still want to experience, and these people are definitely real. There’s already so much pressure to be sad, to overwork, to panic, to be scared; we need more people just living life, not for some divine purpose, but for what life was made out to be. To be enjoyed. Because anything else is pretentious, because we did not make life, how can we expect to know what it’s purpose is other than what purpose has been given to us. If life was not meant to be enjoyed, then there wouldn’t be happiness, but there is.

Because that’s the true reward of doing something good, it makes you happy.

But I’m on a tangent; and I kinda got off track. Just wanted to say that out, and surprisingly didn’t need that THING, because I don’t care about talking about that THING, but the inspiration to live life. There are four times as many men that kill themselves. Me still being alive at this point not only makes me strong, but makes me feel special. Is that a good thing? As long as that “special” does not go beyond happiness, because there is nothing more cherished, loved, sought after and special than happiness.

Well, I guess here’s the fandom talk now. Horror games, they make me stronger, and I feel stronger, and I am happier. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me so. For allowing me to live life like how you made it out to be. Amen.

Thinking I have some greater meaning in this life is narcissistic. We’re all equal, just because I’ve gone through suffering doesn’t mean I’m special, we’ve all gone through. I can thus conclude that it’s meaningless to do what that THING wants me to do. It doesn’t help people, it just isolates them from our own pretentiousness and further outlines are own “holy” hypocrisy. So I’m perfectly content just living a normal life and being forgotten at the end. It was fun for me, and that’s all that matters.

There are tons of people in the world who suffer on a daily basis. Sure, I could worry about trying to help and “save” them all the time, but then I’d be throwing away this special opportunity I have to be happy. To believe that one must not be happy because somebody else is not happy is a flawed thinking. Because if life were like that, then none of us would ever be happy. Because in this flawed world, where humans suffer from the most inhumane and unimaginable things, what more can we do but to be happy? It’s what they would have wanted to do too; if they were in our place after all.

To be happy is to be satisfied with life, no matter what happens. In short, the only meaning to life is to be happy, because it’s the only life we could ever be satisfied with. It’s literally the only satisfactory meaning to life.

Because life is still 100% life no matter who are you are what you’re going through. And if we can’t be satisfied with who we are now, than will we ever?

(Don’t want to even mention that trigger word “w_rk” because it implants unto me a perfectionistic attitude and ideal that I will never be happy because I’m not perfect. Just because my happiness isn’t perfect doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist!)

But I’m not weak enough to be pressured (manipulation) into their weak opinions. I’m stronger than that, then a mere feeling in my head. Feeling isn’t fact. I look only to the objective truth of the Bible. I believed, He promised, I’m saved, the end.

I’m not weak. I’m strong. I am a man.

Being a man means putting action over emotion.