Christ Jesus, saviour of every person in existence! Faith alone!

MICAH 7:18-20 Who is a god like thee? Thou takest away guilt, thou passes over the sin of the remnant of thy own people, thou dost not let thy anger rage for ever but delightest in love that will not change. Once more thou wilt show us tender affection and wash out our guilt, casting all our sins into the depths of the sea. ( NEB )

 

Journal Entry 111 – Noki Fade

January 4^th (Thursday) 2018

Yesterday, I had so much trouble sleeping. Like literally 2 hours in bed feeling all sweaty, had to literally reset the automatic timer for the fan to shut off like 3 times in that whole time. It was so nerve-wracking. I literally had to have my big blanket on my all the time and had to cuddle my cuddly blanket the whole time, it was that terrifying. Oh my. I kinda wish my cuddly blanket was thicker so I could hug it more,

That… game. Oh my. I was literally singing songs of praise to Jesus Christ in my head, that’s how afraid I was. No, I wasn’t afraid of some random 2d coming into my house and popping in, I was afraid that actual demons would take that shape and use it to scare me, considering it’s already scared me before. That’s why I constantly prayed to the Lord Jesus Christ to give me strength and help me not to fear, I was literally reciting to me all of these Bible verses, but it wasn’t working. Sure a little bit, and after some time I was able to go back to using just my light problem and managed the stress, but it was still there.

When I was wearing the big blanket, I would constantly have to go to the washroom, but this was an equally terrifying experience because I would always imagine some of those… girls… just being in the hallway and rushing through, or literally standing in the washroom just waiting for me to jump out at me. The adrenaline, oh my the adrenaline.

That 2 hours, it was tough. I finally managed to go to sleep by ending off my prayers with an “Amen” and actually turning on the radio, yes the radio that I’ve been sleeping without for all this time. I turned it on and I turned it on LOUD.

Guess what.

It actually made me fall asleep.

What I’m guessing happened is that in that scenario, I was overwhelmed by the amount of unknown stimulus (the darkness). Because I’m an introvert, I was always imaging what the overwhelming amount of unknown stimulus (what I couldn’t see) was.

At that time, I was filled with a stimulus that I actually recognized, the lyrics of that song and the rhythm of the song and pretty much the song itself. It made me fall asleep because it completely overwhelmed the negative stimulus.