MALACHI 3:2-3 Who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a laundress's soap. He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver, he will purify the Levies and refine them like gold and silver. Then the Lord will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness. (NIV)
Journal Entry 110 – Oki Doki
January 3rd (Wednesday) 2018
You know what, today is nice. I’m taking a break and playing, as the title of this is suggesting,
Yeah, that’s about it.
However, when I play, I’m always still thinking about that one THING. I don’t want to think about it, but I do. I’m feeling traumatised right now by it. But then I remember that some people have had it worse than me, yet have survived and have gone back to living a good life. I’ve already gotten everything I need from that THING, so I’m all good.
There’s no point in waiting when I’ll be perfectly happy to play this game, I’ll never truly be perfectly happy. This happiness is enough for me to survive with for now anyways, despite it’s headache and intrusive thoughts. It has even taken over my dream project, which sucks, but I’m starting to forget about it more and more.
but I need to learn to face my obsessions without the compulsion. I need to learn to face my fears without doing the fearful response, that is searching it up online and ultimately typing and updating this constantly. I can feel the anxiety a bit and it’s making me get up and pee a lot and feel the need to pee even though I pee so little.
So I’m only going to type this once, and then leave this how it is as you see it. It’s for the best anyways. Here’s how I feel about all this.
I find it funny how I’m getting so hurt over this, when I don’t even know these people personally. And why should I trust them so much? They’ve gotten other things wrong. I know for sure that what I believe is right and just because another person believes in a different thing doesn’t mean I should be stressed about it.
But I’ll be optimistic. I will get through this suffering, I already feel much better than I was before. And He’s providing me comfort as well, which is good that I didn’t connect Him to the atrocities that is that THING and the people and community in that THING.
So, Song out. I’m strong and, like how my mother was able to get out of her THING (while even being in it longer than I was in my THING), I will be able to get out of this too. Time heals all wounds.
See you guys later.